Life brings many obstacles; people we love and care for hurt us. These hurts happen over and over again. It can make one believe being on an island alone is the best way to solve the problem of getting hurt by people. One might say well am I wrong?
Let’s see what the word says about fellowship with others.
“Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (Hebrews 10:25)”.
God’s word is telling us that we should get together and fellowship with one another. It significantly means the fellowship between believers. It also states we should be encouraging to one another. Which means we should be loving on each other. There are times when we can go through so much hurt being in relationships with others.
We can often be hurt by fellow believers, and conflict can occur. There should not be toxicity among believers, but times have changed and it happens more than it should these days. I have been through this but I choose to not forget that the world is full of so many kind-hearted and loving people.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them (Matthew 18: 20).”
There is power in numbers. As an intercessor, a person that prays led by the holy spirit on behalf of others. I understand the power of numbers among believers. Anyone who comes together in agreement about prayer or fellowship in a godly manner God is among them.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17).”
Have you ever met someone that makes you better? They make you want to do better. They make you feel empowered and that you can conquer the world. It is not that they sharpen you only, but also they are sharpened by you. These are powerful relationships. These are relationships that move mountains, especially among believers. This is the concept of iron sharpening iron.
Tips to help us create and have healthy relationships
It took some time after many years of abuse to begin to practice healthy ways of interacting with others. Yes, people will not like you setting boundaries but you still need to. Yes, there are people that do not like hearing “No”, but say it anyway. Also, remember “No” is a complete sentence, you don’t need to give an explanation.
Sometimes people can try and make us feel obligated to help and support what they have going on in their lives. I often use the phrase “your emergency does not have to be my urgency”. This simply means just because you have a problem does not mean I have to make it my problem too. This is important because some of us will keep pouring into others even when our cup is running empty.
No matter what you face on behalf of others isolation brings stress as well. Being secluded and alone is not healthy. We need human interaction. It can affect your mental health, social skills, cause depression, loathing, and over time lead to suicidal ideation.
I understand trauma caused by others is also debilitating. We still have to do the necessary things to create healthy relationships. These are; creating boundaries, saying “No”, not feeling obligated to do for others, being assertive anr standing up for yourself. We also need to be able to recognize and end an unhealthy relationship if it begins to cause toxicity or negative feelings.
You can try to do life alone, but unfortunately, no one is equipped to do everything necessary to survive alone. At some point, you will need help from others. I always say there are billions of people in this world and it’s because we need each other. I know there are toxic people and wicked people that can harm and hurt us.
Despite this fact, I have met some loving, kind, and amazing people. They have had a big impact on my life. I still see the good in the world. Can it be hard at times? Yes. I have faced some hard times because of others but so did Jesus. He still overcame the cross for you and me. This is a debt I am glad the ultimate sacrificial Lamb did that changed everything.
No matter how hard you try, you can not do life alone. We need each other to navigate this thing called life. Do not let a few negative experiences stop you from having healthy relationships. No matter what relationships failed, or hurt you, there are some new healthy experiences waiting for you.