Holding on to the past hinders the progress God wants us to make in our lives. There are so many people holding on to years of offenses. They are holding to every offense that has ever happened to them. The enemy is so crafty at replaying our past and who hurt us over and over again to torment us. The enemy will speak continual lies to you. The enemy will say things like “no one loves you”, “all everybody does is hurt you”, “keep everyone out because they don’t love you”, “nobody really cares about you” and the list goes on.
Holding on to offenses is like drinking poison every day and expecting someone else to die. Some people believe if they hold on to the offenses they will never get hurt again. Many of us feel that we have to push everyone who ever hurt us away. You may decide to never let anyone in and not realize no one is perfect and every offense was not intentional.
I don’t know about you, but none of this makes any person feel better. If you are walking around carrying every offense and the lies of the enemy, you are not a happy person. In so many cases you are miserable. It is also likely that you spend a lot of your time alone and isolated. This is no way to live. Yes, you did not deserve the offenses that came in life, but you can choose not to be consumed by them.
I write this because for many years I was this person. I walked around like a wrecking ball. I was hurting and felt miserable, so I made others around me miserable. I spent many years pushing so many people away. It was hard doing the therapy I needed to begin to heal from the offenses of my past. Though it was hard I kept chipping away at the stony roots I had built around me. There are many people with addiction and mental illness. For many of us who have this issue, the root of our struggle is holding on to so much hurt.
What does God’s word say about holding on to offenses?
But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62).
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).
“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:18-19).
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekial 36:26).
There is nothing we can do about the past. Yes, the memories do hurt if we sit in them too long. I am someone who battles Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I still have many of the symptoms but as the years roll on and I continue working on my past; it gets a little easier to deal with. Sometimes you get tired of feeling broken and you have to make a decision. Are you going to keep rehearsing a past you can do nothing about? Are you going to strive for a better future? It is not easy I understand that all too well. Moving past years of pain is hard. It is so hard many people would rather remain stuck than do the work.
The blessing is doing the work helps you to heal. My therapist recently put it so well. She said a deeply punctured wound hurts so bad and it takes a lot of time to heal. If you do not heal it properly you could risk losing a part of your body or infecting other areas of your body. Most of us do not want that so after some time if it does not heal most people go to the doctor to treat the wound. We get stitches, medicine, and maybe some ointment to apply to the wound. After a few weeks, it heals.
She said it is the same with the wounds of our past. We can let the wounds fester and live a life less than what God wanted for us. We can keep holding on to everything that ever hurt us and infect every area of our lives and the people around us. The years will pass, and we will remain stuck while the people around us move on with their lives. The best thing we can do is do the work to heal the wounds of our past.
Ways to Heal:
Weekly therapy sessions, taking on a hobby or a sport, daily exercise, a support group, church involvement, reading books that teach on the area you struggle with the most, volunteering, crafts, sleep schedule, healthy diet, prayer, fasting, meditation, allowing God in, reading the word and no isolation get out and get involved in your community.
I do most of these and it is challenging but so rewarding. I added each thing one at a time. I have weekly therapy sessions, I exercise four days a week, I keep a sleep schedule, and track my eating because I have an eating disorder. I eat as healthy as I can. I am a part of a support group. I blog.
I also work on my short-term and long-term goals which include meeting with mentors. I talk to my family regularly though at one time in my life I pushed them away. I read my word, I meditate, and I pray regularly.
Therapy really helped me to learn to let go and it was not easy. I still have so much more work to do. The art of it all is continual progress. It has taken years. It is no easy feat. I cried in sessions, was angry, got to some deeply rooted pain and wanted to stop my sessions, but I kept pushing myself. Though this is the process, I thank God that I decided I wanted to heal.
Paul became sold out for God and had laid his past down to the point that this is how he viewed his new life. In Galatians this is what he said and realized: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
Healing from the wounds of our past is a messy process, but it is necessary.
Resilient Inspired Spiritual Excellence R.I.S.E. 